Queen of Swords
Episode Transcripts

Vera - [getting dressed] Do you like the grapes?

Grisham - Mmm. I don't think I've ever had anything so firm... and so sweet.

Vera - Please, capitan. [pulls up her stocking]

Grisham - I think I could eat them... [pulls her stocking back down] I think I could eat them... all day. [kisses her calf]

Vera - [pulls stocking back up] I'm going to be late.

Grisham - Just think... If I had Gaspar's money, we could eat grapes every day. [Vera stands up.] What's the matter?

Vera - You talk too much.

Grisham - What'd I say?

Vera - We are what we are, Marcus.

Grisham - Yeah, and I think we're pretty good.

Vera - We are. As long as we don't have to trust each other. Remember, a husband is forever. Lovers, my handsome capitan, come and go. [leaves]

[Vera, driving buggy, hears someone whoop behind her.]

Vera - [encouraging her horse] Hiyah! [sees two men riding toward her] Hiyah! Hiyah! [Two more men join the chase.] Hiyah! Hiyah! Hiyah! Hiyah! [The men close on the buggy.] Hiyah!

Bernard - [to Vera's horse] Whoa! [jumps over onto her horse, pulls him to a stop] Whoa! [dismounts, pulls down the kerchief hiding his face]

Vera - [offscreen] Dios mio.

Bernard - Where have you been all my life?

[Grisham is sprawled on the bed, throwing playing cards at an upside-down hat.]

Montoya - [enters] Ah, Capitan. What a surprise to find you in bed. [holds up papers in his hand] Check these repossession orders. Have them back in my office tomorrow.

Grisham - [takes papers] Who is it this time? [looks at papers] Hidalgo. [Montoya turns to leave.] Colonel.

Montoya - [turns back] Yes?

Grisham - [after a long pause] It's nothing. Never mind.

Montoya - Very well. [turns to leave]

Grisham - Do you think that... [shakes his head, tosses another card]

Montoya - [turns back] Am I to infer by your hesitation that what you have to say to me is of a rather... delicate nature?

Grisham - Yeah, it's delicate. And luscious. And beautiful... she's beautiful.

Montoya - Please, capitan, spare me your rapture about Señora Hidalgo.

Grisham - How much money do you think it would take? I mean, really?

Montoya - [chuckles] On what I pay you? Three or four lifetimes.

Grisham - Oh, great.

Montoya - Capitan... In this life, some people are destined never to own, only to rent. [turns again to leave]

Grisham - You could always give me a raise.

Montoya - [over his shoulder] Not a chance. [leaves]

Hidalgo - [drops bag of coins on Montoya's desk] A debt owed, a debt paid.

Montoya - What is this? Could it be that you have secured your tax payment?

Hidalgo - You almost look disappointed.

Montoya - So the ship from Spain has arrived?

Hidalgo - Certainly not. My funds are in transit, but happily I am one of those individuals who still has friends.

Montoya - How fortunate for you.

Lola - Tessa, that dress is wonderful.

Tessa - Thank you, Lola.

Lola - I saw the same one in Madrid... two years ago.

Tessa - Perhaps your eyesight is failing you. You know, they say that happens when you reach a certain age.

[Horse pulling buggy gallops into town.]

Marta - Tessa! Look out!

Man - [offscreen] Runaway!

Tessa - [stands her ground as horse nears] Whoa.

[Montoya & Hidalgo come out onto balcony.]

Hidalgo - Here, what is happening?

Tessa - [takes horse's bridle] Easy does it.

Montoya - Will wonders never cease.

Hidalgo - That's Vera's buggy. [leaves balcony, runs out to street] Get out of my way.

Tessa - [to horse] Easy.

Montoya - [follows Hidalgo to buggy] Señorita Alvarado, you're truly amazing. I had no idea someone as delicate as you could be so brave. It's so unlike you.

Tessa - [faintly] Oh. [raises her hand to her face, pretends to swoon] Oooh.

Marta - [as Montoya catches Tessa] Colonel, that wasn't courage. That was fear.

Montoya - Someone bring some water. Hurry.

Marta - Señorita. [fans Tessa's face with her hand]

Montoya - Get Dr. Helm.

[Tessa opens her eyes, gives Marta a look, closes her eyes again.]

Marta - [to Montoya] That won't be necessary.

Tessa - [faintly] What? [Marta pulls her to her feet.] What happened?

Montoya - You, uh... You fainted.

Tessa - I did?

[Montoya goes to examine the buggy.]

Hidalgo - Where is she? What happened?

Montoya - [finds note pinned inside buggy canopy, reads it] I'm so sorry.

Tessa - What is it?

Hidalgo - What does it say?

Montoya - It is your wife. She has been kidnapped.

[Close on ransom note:
Don Gaspar,
Vera Hidalgo is ours.
If you wish to see {??}
bring 5,000 Reales {??}
{??}]

Hidalgo - Five thousand reales. Where will I ever find that price?

Montoya - Surely there must be someone.

Hidalgo - Don Othello can't. Don Arturo's worse off than me.

Montoya - So much for friendship.

Hidalgo - The drought has hurt all of us.

Montoya - What you need, Gaspar, is someone who will put friendship above all else.

Hidalgo - [incredulous] You?

Montoya - Try not to sound so surprised.

Hidalgo - I will never forget this, colonel.

Montoya - And neither will I. Capitan Grisham will make the delivery. He's a soldier. He's trained in such matters. By tomorrow, your beloved Vera will be once more in your arms.

Hidalgo - God bless you, Luis.

Montoya - You know, Gaspar, I really think he does.

Grisham - Sons of bitches! I'll kill 'em.

Montoya - I sincerely hope you do, capitan. You know, my mother once said to me, "Luis, always try to look for a silver lining." However, in this case, the lining is gold.

Grisham - Of course. You want to keep the gold.

Montoya - I admit that the operation is a trifle risky but--

Grisham - Damn right, it's risky.

Montoya - For a man of your military skill? I have complete faith.

Grisham - No. There is no way. Because if we try anything stupid, they're going to put a bullet in Vera's head.

Montoya - A professional man like you allowing his emotions to get in the way of his duty? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk.

Grisham - Okay, so what? To hell with her then?

Montoya - Would five hundred reales ease your pain?

Grisham - You can't buy everybody, colonel.

Montoya - [laughs] You are insulted?

Grisham - Yes. Yes, I'm insulted. Make it a thousand.

Marta - Why are you getting involved? Hidalgo's paying the ransom.

Tessa - [dressed as QoS] That doesn't mean the kidnappers will let her go.

Marta - Grisham will make sure of it.

Tessa - *If* Grisham delivers the gold. I can't leave Vera's life in the hands of thieves and liars.

Marta - She's that important to you?

Tessa - She's my friend.

Bernard - You alright?

Vera - What do you think?

Bernard - I'll untie you. [unties her hands] Should've used less. [lifts Vera down from horse] So soft. So delicate. [kisses her knuckles] This ring, it's...

Vera - [pulls her hand away] Go to hell.

Bernard - You look good. Better than I remember. [turns Vera in a circle] Aristocratic. A real lady. [laughs] Not a wh--

Vera - Bernard!

Bernard - I traveled halfway across the world looking for you.

Vera - Don't do this to me. What do you want?

Bernard - Only the money.

Vera - You promise you'll leave when you have it?

Bernard - Would that make you happy?

Vera - Yes. Please, Bernard--

Bernard - [puts his finger over her lips] Shhh. Then it's done.

Grisham - [leading four soldiers, halts his horse] Whoa! I think this is it. All right. Nobody moves till you hear my signal. If anything happens to Vera, I will kill each and every one of you. Hiyah! [rides off]

[Grisham rides to where Vera is tied to a tree, dismounts.]

Vera - Marcus. Thank God. I knew you would come.

Grisham - Did you?

Vera - What do you mean?

Grisham - Sure you weren't expecting someone else? [cuts her free with his sword] Husband, maybe?

Vera - You have the gold? Do you have it?

Grisham - Get on the horse. [Vera mounts, sits behind saddle. Grisham mounts in front of her.] We're out of here.

Vera - There are men watching.

Grisham - Oh, yeah?

Vera - They will shoot you if you don't leave it.

Grisham - [calls out] Everyone relax now. I'm going for the gold. [holds up small bag of coins, tosses it down; quietly to Vera:] I'm coming back for it.

Vera - No.

Grisham - Well, what do you care?

Vera - It's just... I don't want you to be hurt.

Grisham - See, now that's better. Hiyah! [They ride off, back to where Grisham left his men... who are no longer there.] Oh, great. Where the hell are they?

Vera - Over there. [Camera pans to where the four soldiers are hog-tied on the ground.]

Grisham - Hiyah, come on. [rides toward men]

Bernard - Afternoon, general.

Grisham - [whirls horse to face him, both holding the other at gunpoint] That's captain.

Bernard - I really don't care. Get off the horse. The señora's with me.

Grisham - I don't think so.

Bernard - Think again. [nods to hills on either side of them]

Grisham - [sees he is surrounded by armed men] If I die, you die.

Bernard - You'd give your life for her?

Grisham - Why don't you just try me?

Bernard - [to Vera] I think he likes you. Think he'd still like you if he knew the truth about you?

Vera - [to Grisham] Get off the horse.

Grisham - No.

Vera - Get off!

Grisham - No!

Vera - Do you want us both to die?

Bernard - Women, eh?

Grisham - Shut up.

Vera - Please. Do it for me, Marcus.

Grisham - Alright, but I'm coming back for you. [He dismounts. Vera moves forward into saddle.] Done.

Bernard - Lose the gun. [Grisham tosses gun aside. Bernard motions to Vera with his head. Vera rides away from Grisham.]

Grisham - Oh, it's...

Bernard - Be thankful I left you your boots. Hiyah! [follows after Vera]

[QoS watches as Vera & Bandits ride through canyon.]

Bernard - [halts, dismounts] Hands on the saddle horn. Hands together. [grabs her hands, starts tying them]

Vera - You promised you would leave when you got the gold. You lied.

Bernard - I am leaving. I'm just taking you with me. I still dream of you, Vera. [gently brushes hair from her face, then violently finishes tying her hands] Remind you of old times?

Vera - You were a bastard then. You still are.

Bernard - [laughs] Yeah, but I'm your bastard. [winks & clicks his tongue]

[meanwhile]

[QoS knocks a bandit from his horse with thrown bolas, punches another bandit off his horse.]

Bandit - Ayee! [rides toward QoS brandishing a sword]

[Brief swordfight, then QoS knocks bandit from his horse.]

Bernard - [takes off toward the commotion] Hiyah! Hiyah!

[QoS pulls him from his horse, punches him. QoS & Vera ride away together. Bandit aims gun at them. Bernard knocks him down.]

Bernard - [to bandit] Idiot! Vera's no good to me dead. She won't run far.

Grisham - [angrily, to soldier standing in line] Get your rifle out of my face!

Hidalgo - This is a tragedy.

Montoya - It is almost criminal, capitan.

Grisham - They ambushed my men, sir. I promise you, it will not happen again. [to soldiers] Now fall out! Move! [Soldiers jog away. Grisham follows them.]

Hidalgo - Bring my carriage!

Montoya - Please, Gaspar, you would only slow them down. We must all think of what is best for poor Vera.

Hidalgo - But I must do something.

Montoya - My friend, when all has seemed lost in my life, I have found prayer a great consolation. Hm? [Hidalgo leave, Grisham returns.] That was brilliant, capitan. Even I almost believed you. Now, where is it?

Grisham - Where's what?

Montoya - My gold.

Grisham - It's like I said, we didn't even have a chance to--

Montoya - You lost the señora *and* my gold?

Soldier - [offscreen] Colonel!

[Vera gallops into town on Grisham's horse.]

Montoya - There's your woman, and there is your horse. Nope. [stops Grisham from saying anything] Stay off one, get on the other, and *get me my gold*!

Grisham - Yes, sir.

Soldier - [offscreen] The Queen! [QoS appears between buildings.] It's the Queen of Swords!

Grisham - Come on! Get after her! Go!

Montoya - [to himself] Why am I not surprised?

[QoS rides around, knocking down soldiers, then gallops away.]

[Flamenco dancer dances to guitar music.]

Hidalgo - [raises his wine glass] To my wife. My darling petal. I celebrate her return.

Vera - And I celebrate you, my love.

Lola - Being dragged off by handsome bandits. Nothing like that's ever happened to me.

Tessa - I can't imagine why, Lola. Excuse me.

Montoya - As Shakespeare put it, all's well that ends well. Happy endings, Gaspar.

Hidalgo - I am a lucky man.

Montoya - And now, to more mundane matters.

Hidalgo - Yes?

Montoya - The tax lien on your hacienda.

Hidalgo - How dare you. You know my situation.

Montoya - You know mine. I must enforce the law. I cannot play favorites.

Hidalgo - This is an outrage.

Montoya - Yes, you are right. I am sorry. We do not have to sign it now.

Hidalgo - And you call yourself my friend.

Montoya - I was there in your hour of need, was I not? Now it is your turn.

Grisham - [picks up cigarette butt from ground] Those sloppy bastards. [to soldiers] Close. This time, no screw-up.

[Bandit #1 (eating watermelon) is knocked out by Grisham. Bandit #2 jumps to his feet, reaches for his musket. Grisham kicks musket away. Bandit #2 turns to run, sees soldier running toward him.]

Grisham - Not that way. Wrong way. Naughty, naughty, naughty. [punches Bandit #2] Where is he? [Bandit shakes his head silently.] It's not a yes-or-no question. You can talk, you live. Or if you don't, well, I guess you know what happens, right?

Bandit #2 - In town. The woman. He went to get the woman.

Grisham - Good answer.

Bandit #2 - Yes.

[Grisham punches Bandit #2, who falls near his bedroll, grabs his knife & jumps up to throw it at Grisham. Grisham shoots Bandit #2.]

Don - [offscreen] Ah, Don Gaspar.

Hidalgo - [clasps Don's hand] Thank you.

Don - Hidalgo.

Hidalgo - [bows to Don's wife] Señora.

Don - Good to have you back.

[Vera moves away from her husband.]

Man - [offscreen] Hello. Nice to see you.

Young girl - [hands Vera a note] Señora.

[Tessa watches as Vera reads note, folds it away as Gaspar joins her.]

Vera - I'll be right back.

Hidalgo - Not too long, petal.

[Vera leaves. Tessa follows.]

Vera - [enters] Hello? Who's there?

Bernard - [steps forward] Hello, beautiful. [grabs Vera's wrist when she tries to slap him] Nice to see you, too.

Vera - If they catch you, you'll hang.

Bernard - Don't look so happy.

Vera - You have the gold. What more do you want?

Bernard - You belong in *my* bed, not with that fat old man.

Vera - Shut up!

Bernard - When the dons and their wives find out what kind of woman you really are... [licks her earlobe] Think about it. [kisses her neck] I'm your only real friend.

Vera - Maybe you are right. Maybe I'm tired of the lie. [raises dagger to his neck]

Bernard - Go on, then. Kill me. Do it now and it'll all be over. [pushes dagger away]

Vera - I hate you.

Bernard - You've got twenty-four hours to come to me, or the truth comes out.

[Vera runs from stable. Tessa crouches behind stable door, swings upper half of door at Bernard as he rides out of stable, knocking him from his horse, then bashes him over head with wooden bucket, knocking him out.]

Tessa - Oops. [brushes off her dress, steps forward, cries out:] Help! Come quickly! A man fell from his horse! [Grisham & soldiers ride up.] Captain, thank God you're here. This man fell from his horse. I hope he's not dead! Oh, my, what should we do?

Grisham - [recognizes Bernard] Well, well, well.

Tessa - Captain!

Grisham - It's good to see you again.

Tessa - You know this man?

Grisham - Yup. [grabs Bernard by the legs] Looks like I just captured myself a kidnapper. [drags Bernard away] Señorita. [offscreen] All right, sunshine, up on the horse.

Vera - [joins Tessa] What happened?

Tessa - Captain Grisham caught your kidnapper.

Vera - [under her breath] No.

Tessa - Your troubles are over, Vera.

[Soldiers ride off with unconscious Bernard slung over saddle.]

Vera - You don't understand. My life is over. That man is my husband.

Tessa - Don Gaspar! Vera! [Vera & Hidalgo leave street, walk toward Tessa's table.] Will you join me?

Hidalgo - I'm afraid that I have some business {to attend} but perhaps you would keep Vera company?

Tessa - I'd be delighted.

Hidalgo - I won't be long. [leaves]

Tessa - [as Vera sits] About what you said...

Vera - Forget what I said.

Tessa - Is that man really your husband?

Vera - Please. Leave me alone.

Tessa - Vera, I'm only trying to help you.

Vera - No one can help me. [leaves]

Hidalgo - Did he tell you where to find the gold?

Montoya - I'm afraid not.

Hidalgo - I see.

Montoya - And now, we must turn our minds back to business.

Hidalgo - What business?

Montoya - The orderly transfer of your property.

Hidalgo - You dare do this to me now?

Montoya - I do what I must.

Hidalgo - And I will do the same.

Montoya - Meaning?

Hidalgo - Before I let you take my land, blood will flow.

Montoya - You are upset. I understand. But just think where this path might lead.

Hidalgo - I am not afraid. I was a soldier in my youth. I know what it is to kill.

Montoya - Do you know what it is to die?

[Grisham punches Bernard, knocking him down.]

Bernard - I knew I should've taken your boots.

Grisham - [kicks Bernard] Where is it?

Bernard - I don't know.

Grisham - You're pathetic. [hauls Bernard to his feet] One last chance.

Bernard - Wait. How about something better?

Grisham - Better than gold? I don't think so.

Bernard - Information. A secret... about a woman.

Grisham - About Vera?

Bernard - You like her. That blonde hair? Those blue eyes? They really get to you, don't they?

Grisham - [punches Bernard again] What do you know about Vera?

Bernard - She's... my wife.

Montoya - What did he tell you?

Grisham - You'll never guess.

Young girl - [to Vera] Señora? Señora? [hands Vera basket of fruit]

Montoya - Good morning, Señora. May I help you with that?

Vera - No, thank you. I'll manage.

Montoya - I was hoping that we could have a little tête-à-tête.

Vera - About what?

Montoya - About Don Gaspar's determination to wage war without reason.

Vera - My husband loves his hacienda.

Montoya - And which husband is that? Don Gaspar is a proud man, is he not?

Vera - You wouldn't.

Montoya - Unless I have no choice.

Vera - What do you want?

Montoya - I assure you, my only interest is peace.

Vera - The truth would destroy us both.

Montoya - Then I beg you, help me to spare Don Gaspar this disgrace. Convince him that his pride will only lead to his destruction. Señora. [leaves]

[Tessa is practicing sword moves.]

Vera - [offscreen] Tessa?

Marta - [rushes in, Vera right behind her] Tessa, it's Vera! [Tessa hides sword behind her back.]

Vera - Tessa? [enters room, sees Tessa sweaty & disheveled] Are you ill? Why are you perspiring?

Tessa - [shrugs] Must be the chiles I had for lunch. [awkward pause] Going somewhere? Why don't you sit down?

[Vera sits on couch. Tessa sits next to her, awkwardly hides sword under couch.]

Vera - I'm leaving.

Tessa - So it's true?

Vera - I'm so ashamed. [starts to cry]

Tessa - [hugs her] Oh, Vera, it's all right.

Vera - [composes herself] I was fourteen. He was twenty. So handsome, so wild. He knew how to get things -- food, money. A warm place to sleep.

Tessa - He told you he loved you.

Vera - He used me! Before I knew it, I was trapped. Some of the things he made me do...

Tessa - Vera... It's all in the past now. Don Gaspar will forgive you.

Vera - No one else will. They will point at us on the street, laugh behind our backs... In time, Gaspar will hate me. Help me.

Tessa - How can I?

Vera - I need money, to travel.

Tessa - Alright. Wait here. I'll go get you some. [leaves Vera, finds Marta] Hold the fort.

Marta - Where are you going?

Tessa - To get rid of the evidence.

Marta - You mean the kidnapper?

Tessa - If he disappears, Montoya has no proof, and no leverage over Hidalgo. Can you keep Vera here?

Marta - No problem. I'll prepare some of my special tea. She'll sleep like a baby.

Tessa - Great!

[QoS gallops to town.]

[QoS knocks out two soldiers, enters jail, knocks down jailer.]

QoS - [to jailer] Close your eyes. This won't hurt a bit. [cuts keyring from his belt] Move it. [Jailer gets up. QoS scoops keyring from floor, shoves Jailer in empty cell, closes cell door.]

Bernard - [as QoS unlocks his cell door] Well, hello.

QoS - Let's go. [leads him out of cell, stops him from grabbing pistol from desk] Don't push your luck.

Soldier - The Queen!

[QoS & Bernard ride away.]

Soldier - Stop them!

Bernard - If we're going to be partners, this is a hell of a way to start.

QoS - Not interested.

Bernard - You broke me out.

QoS - I want the gold.

Bernard - [scoffs] Sorry, not this time. [starts to ride away]

QoS - [snaps whip, wrapping the end around his throat] Now, where were we? Ah, yes. The gold?

Marta - Can I help you?

Hidalgo - Vera's gone. I can't find her. Her favorite gowns, her dresses, all gone.

Marta - I'm sure she's fine.

Hidalgo - Her kidnapper is free. The Queen of Swords freed him. Why?!

Marta - She probably had a good reason.

Hidalgo - I can't bear the thought of my petal with that... that barbarian!

Vera - [offscreen] Gaspar?

Hidalgo - My petal!

Vera - [goes to him] I just needed to be alone.

Hidalgo - I thought you were gone. What is it? Oh, don't worry, my love. The colonel will find him, and when he does...

Vera - Walk with me. [They walk off together.]

Montoya - Well?

Grisham - [reading tracks] They're close.

Montoya - How long?

Grisham - If they were any closer, he'd already be dead.

Montoya - That's what I like to hear.

Grisham - Money's over by his camp. [to Soldiers] Let's go!

Vera - The years we've been together have been the best years of my life.

Hidalgo - Vera...

Vera - I never wanted to hurt you.

Hidalgo - You could never hurt me.

Vera - But you don't know me.

Hidalgo - What are you talking about?

Vera - What I was before we met.

Hidalgo - What you were isn't important, only what you *are*.

Vera - [tearful] Please, Gaspar.

Hidalgo - I was not the most handsome man in Madrid. Don't you think I know that? A woman like you can have any man she wants, but you choose me. And I believe you love me.

Vera - [tearful] I do.

Hidalgo - Very well. That's all I need to know. That's all I want to know.

Vera - [tearful] Gaspar, I don't deserve you.

Hidalgo - Nothing... No one... will ever come between us. I promise. Now, tell me where the kidnapper took you.

Bernard - This is it.

QoS - [snaps whip] Start digging.

Bernard - Are you this tough on all the guys?

QoS - I'm going to count to three. One. Two. [swishes whip] Perhaps I'll start with your nose.

Bernard - All right. All right. I'm digging. [falls to his knees, starts scooping dirt]

[Montoya, Grisham & Soldiers gallop through canyon.]

Bernard - I've got the gold. [throws dirt at QoS, temporarily blinding her, grabs sword from his horse] Surprised?

QoS - Not really.

[They swordfight. Montoya & Grisham ride up & dismount. Grisham aims his pistol.]

Montoya - Wait. Kill the one who wins.

Bernard - I think he's aiming at you.

QoS - It's not the first time.

Bernard - Could be the last. [Fight continues briefly, then someone else shoots Bernard. Everyone looks up at canyon rim, where Don Hidalgo is holding a musket.]

Hidalgo - I see you found my taxes.

Montoya - Your t--! [to Grisham] Kill the Queen. At least today will not have been a terrible loss.

Grisham - [looks around] Uh, sir, I'd love to kill the--

Montoya - [sees QoS has disappeared] Not one word.

Vera - [as townspeople look through crates of goods] Looks like our ship finally came in.

Hidalgo - I knew it would. I must go check my cargo.

Vera - Good. [kisses his cheek]

[Gaspar leaves. Grisham joins Vera.]

Grisham - Vera. I was thinking maybe tonight, you and me could, uh...

Vera - Maybe.

Grisham - I'm not still in the dog house, am I?

Vera - Do I get to be the pirate tonight? [smiles at him]

Grisham - [grins] Aye-aye, captain.

Vera - [walks over to Tessa] Tessa.

Tessa - Hello, Vera. Beautiful day, isn't it?

Vera - Yes.

Tessa - I hope the dresses I ordered from Madrid came in. They're supposed to be all the rage.

Vera - Tessa, about those things I told you...

Tessa - [pretending ignorance] What things?

Vera - About... Bernard.

Tessa - Hm... Bernard who?